Insanity
by TheO0032
Summary: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." What if there was romance? Ash, of course, loves a Pokemon. A legendary. Who planned this in advance and loves Ash. Spin off of "a pink surprise"(yeah, it is a Fanfiction thing). Not mostly romance. The Pokemon marriage laws in that story were unexplained and didn't make sense, so I made my own cause. Transport files #2.


**_Summary:_**

What if there was romance? Ash, of course, loves a Pokemon. A legendary. Who planned this in advance and loves Ash. Spin-off of a pink surprise (yeah, it is a Fanfiction thing), with other causes for the transformations. Doesn't include sex, and most of the plot is hacked away, but I added some irrelevant tangents to transform the genre.

 ** _Contents:_**

Interdimensional transport(Bacteria are absolutely necessary for this story, and this is the transport files; what did you expect?)

Plagues(Ash would be dumb to let a legendary touch his mouth; That is only if plagues exist. The reason is the same reason two people shouldn't drink from the same cup)

Transformation(the only way for Ash to survive after he got HIV, smallpox, and tuberculosis-from Mew)

This is not a sequel to Pokemon Chaos; It is only a story related to it. As in interdimensional transport!

Pokemon(of course)

Absolutely no sex featured(Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this, because I wouldn't've been allowed to write it)

Love(The ants of Rome, romance; Otherwise the story wouldn't unfold the way it did)

Infections of bacteria(because of the plagues)

Note: I hate the mushy parts of romance, so they won't be included. I also hate transformation details, and romance itself. TFDs(TransFormation Details) makes people imagine Pokemon differently. So, I won't end up writing the story type "Jolteon master"(Fanfiction account)(via bad Fanfiction review of different story emphasizing the lack of transformation detail) likes...

Chapter-1000000000000000: how to use this, the guide of interpretations

Anything bold, italic and underlined is a chapter title.

There is a sample quote below

Pikachu(translated): Okay, Ash(does a thunderbolt)

First is the name, than a description of the voice, then the colon, then what the character is saying, and actions are in parenthesis.

 ** _Prologue: The beginning: Chapters -999999999999999 to 0: Interdimensional transport of bacteria- to a world where bacteria don't exist_**

Mew: Now, it is time to ignite the portal! (Performs a completely unnecessary ritual and ignites the portal)

Mew: Everyone, time to go to another dimension!(jumps through the portal)

(They go to a lab where there are Petri dishes everywhere, and Mew takes some and jumps back through the portal)

Mew: What is this?(dumps the contents of the Petri dish into his mouth)

Latios: It says smallpox on the label.(the smallpox thrives, but doesn't affect legendary Pokemon)

Mew: I hope Ash likes me...

Arceus(He was watching):(sighs) Mew goes to such lengths to make more of her kind…

 ** _Chapter 1: Annoying notifications: Rejection, plagues, and "the only way"_**

Ash: Oh, misty, why do I need to reject you for the 142nd time?

Misty: It is the 527th, and you still owe me a new bike!

Ash: I will reject you until mew dies.

Misty(overlooking the fact that his love could be mew): Okay, will you Marry me?

Ash: For the 143rd time, no!

Misty: It is the 528th time, and I won't forget about my new bike!(yes, Misty asked Ash to marry her 385 times in his sleep and Ash unconsciously said no every time)

Ash: I am going to bed…

(2 hours later)

Misty: Will you marry me, Ash?

Ash(in his sleep): Yes misty…(Misty thinks: Yay!)... I want more food.(Misty sighs)

(Meanwhile, in the hall of Origins)

Mew: For the 136th time, I will only marry my own kind!

Latios(sadly): Okay…(suddenly changes to normal tone) But it is the 719th time, and you still owe me a new interdimensional portal!

Mew: That doesn't matter! I will not! Unless it is Ash…

Latios: Oh fine, marry someone of the one kind that cannot understand you in normal talk, and the only species you didn't create!

Mew: I have a scheme…

Latios: Oh no…

(Change of scenes)

(It is 7:00 in the morning in Ash's house)

Ash: Pikachu, don't tell anyone, but I love mew.

Pikachu: Pikachu?

Ash: I am sorry, Pikachu, but I don't understand you and never will, I think.

(My theory is that Pokemon speak gibberish, but also speak using infrasound "normally". So, if you have Pokemon(or elephant) ears, you'll understand your pokemon, but you probably won't hear normal speech as well as before. That way, a pokedex can "translate" after a tech upgrade. Also, implants would work. Not mind implants, but ear surgery. The less said, the less inappropriate and the better. Not that Pokemon ears would be any good in our world; there aren't any Pokemon…)

(Back in the hall of origins)

(Jack is Mew's pet human that she raised from when he was orphaned)

Mew: Don't tell anybody, Jack, but I love Ash.

Jack: Why the chosen one?

Mew: I don't know…

(Enter the God Pokemon)

(To save letters, I will call Arceus "God")

God: I have seen the chosen one.

Mew: Don't tell me… Did he marry Misty underage?

God: nope, the…

Mew: don't tell me!

God: the one he loves is you.

Mew: How dare you… Wait, what?

Mew: Oh why didn't you send a letter? I wouldn't've begged for you to stop!

God: Oh, whatever… Want me to summon the chosen one?

Mew: Okay…

(Ash's house is now the scene)

Ash: Oh, pikachu(he and Pikachu gets surrounded in a golden light) Aah!

(Change of scenes: Hall of Origins)

Ash: Oh Arceus…

God: Call me God. I got that term from the strict dimension, in something called a bible.

Ash: Okay…

Ash: So, God, is this something important?

God: No.

Mew(telepathy): Hi, Ash!

Ash: Hi, mew!

(They begin hugging each other)

(Mew "accidentally" chokes Ash with her tail)

Mew(telepathy): Oh Ash, are you okay?

God: The only thing that can save Ash is for you to breath into him.

Mew: Okay, anything for Ash!(Begins breathing into Ash)

Ash: Whaa?

God(thinking, not telepathy): Oops, I forgot Mew has HIV, influenza, smallpox, tuberculosis, and the rhinovirus in her mouth. I need to make up something fast!

God: Do you two want to get married?

Ash and mew: Yes!

God: Though, all of the people will want to execute you, Ash. Everybody is incredibly against someone marrying somebody who you can't understand. Also, it will be mandatory to donate all your children to science. The only way to circumvent this is to turn you into a mew…

God(thinking):the only way for you to tolerate smallpox until the cure is invented, over 500 years after!

God: so do you want to become a mew, Ash?

Ash: Okay.

God: then here it is.

(God transforms into a haunter-mew mix, and first creates a mew body, then separates Ash's mind from his body, and transports it to the new "mew" body. Yeah, no transformation, technically...)

God: While, that is it. Next, in case you want to go back, I'll put your old body for storage.

Pikachu: Yay, my trainer can understand me!

(Enter Jessie)

Jessie: Come on, I tracked you all the way to the hall of origins, just to capture Pikachu, and… wait, what? He He He, I'll arrest them for Pokemon mating!(Jessie thinks that it is illegal to marry Pokemon for a little bit, because of a power surge, and, because of another power surge, will be very smart)

Narrator: Stop spoiling it to the readers, Parenthesis!

Ash: No way...(transforms into a mew)

Jessie: Oh, great! Hey, maybe I can comfort Latios! We both have been rejected hundreds of times! Oh, wait… Yes, I remember! Marrying a Pokemon is okay! But I think mew did mouth-to-mouth respiration on you, which spread the plague. You would've been dead within the next day. Your body will be taken over by bacteria and viruses, then killed off. God needed to superheat that body, then freeze it, to keep the bacteria from taking over(when did Jessie get so smart?). Now, I'll go comfort Latios…

(Okay, so, This is private readers, and if you want the details of that, go to a pink surprise. It is rated M, and this is K+, so anyone who doesn't want to see sex in action, keep reading this. Otherwise, go to the story this is based off, complete with TFDs, no IDT, and nothing about comedy, so while Ash and Mew do stuff that is inappropriate, we will watch the others)

Chapter 2: The reactions: Boredom, talk, and the Great Misty torment!

(With Pikachu and the Pokemon belonging to Ash; ½ hour later)

Bulbasaur(note: Everything is translated): So you mean that my trainer is now a legendary?

Pikachu: Yes. (note: I'll call Pikachu Pika)

Charizard: I should've respected him more.(yeah, Charizard slept through the word "now", but not the rest)

Squirtle: I am bored. Let's go torment Misty!

Pika: Remember, Misty can understand us. It's the newest implant.

(At Ash's house)

Squirtle(translated, yes translated, until further notice;): squirtle, squirtle

Pika: Pika Pikachu pichu?

Bulbasaur: Bulbasaur bulba bulba saur!

Misty: Aah, I can't understand you.

Charmander: Charmander Char?

Mew(as a venusaur): Venusaur!

(Misty screams)

Brock(yes, Ash told him and Delia about the great Misty torment): Geodude! Dude geo

Delia: Mime! Mr. Mime!

Ash: Mew! Mew ew me mew!

(Misty screams and runs away)

Ash: That was a good one! (yeah, transformation can add implants)

Pika: Yeah!

Squirtle: That was a great Misty torment!

(Change of scenes)

Misty: Professor Oak, something weird is happening!

Prof. Oak: Really?

Misty: I somehow ceased to understand Pokemon! And Ash, he only spoke Pokemon! Same with his mom, and Brock!

Professor oak: Really?

(Change of scenes)

Ash: Oh no! Misty told Professor Oak!

Chapter 3: This is insanity-discoveries, happily-ever-afters, and the "what?"s

(Enter Misty and Professor Oak)

Professor Oak: I heard there was something going on in here.

Misty: Yeah, Ash talked only in poke speech.

Professor Oak: While, let's get the DNA analyser.(uses it on everybody)

Professor oak: While, everything is normal, but this venusaur and Ash. They both don't have normal DNA; they have mew DNA. Only Ash has enough human DNA to have that morph, and cannot be caught.

Brock and Misty and Delia: What?

Professor oak: Also, the pokedex referenced to him as Ash, so he isn't an imposter.

The 3 mentioned 2 lines ago: What?

And Ash is level 500, a feat only outdone by the God Pokemon.

Ash's mom and 2 original "friends": What?

Misty: Oh, great… I had to pledge to my sisters not to marry a Pokemon.

(Ash and Mew both change into mews)

Mew(telepathy): And here is the baby!(reveals the baby mew)

Professor Oak: Can I study her?(gets out a computer)

Mew: Yes.

(Professor Oak puts the baby in the lab/habitat)

Narrator: The couple, or Ash and Mew, lived happily ever after, Misty defied and literally punched her sisters and married Latios and lived happily ever after, Professor Oak lived to be a famous professor, studying Mew and a Latios-human mix, and Brock married Nurse Joy, and became a famous Pokemon breeder. Team Rocket, after learning Ash's secret, tried to catch Ash legitimately, but it failed, and they never captured Pikachu. Ash's Pokemon were used in the Pokemon league, and treated with a lot of respect. They even were allowed to be transformed temporarily into trainers to compete in the Pokemon league.

Credit to "A pink surprise" for base idea(that was when I could freely read T and M-rated stories, but this isn't m-rated, mind you), Nintendo for Pokemon, and modern scientists for the discovery of bacteria and viruses.


End file.
